Following a vision to become a manifestation of a sacred blueprint written across time and space, I dance. Ballet, once a childhood passion bursting to be expressed, is now a treasured domain to be gleaned for useful details and stored information. The adult perspective on tutus and bright lights varies ever so slightly. I have been dancing with tutus. Twenty-one yards of tulle fabric is the total for now. Three seven yard pieces were chosen for the colour palette and the texture. The tutus, now deconstructed, are like a dream exposed, unravelled and unleashed.
The long netting with varying degrees of substance doesn’t float easily or flutter. The purposeful, glimmering and cooperative silky dance veils have nothing on these galumphing, stubborn and oddly sculptural yards of tulle. These untapped yards of potential not yet tamed into taffeta gowns or crinoline skirts become animated as part of my dancing. The awkwardly long fabric is a welcome counterpoint to the routine of working with my body as instrument, text and canvas.
The lengthy swaths of fabric have fascinated me with the ability to simultaneously be prop, costume and set. Cycling through endless possibilities these three companions have set me on a path to the SwanSong dance piece. At once it is visually appealing and the story is so apropos. What on earth has transpired to call me back to the studio after a decade? I have returned to the studio for the simple fact that I heard the voice of God saying, “I will meet you there.”
Against all logic and rationale, the same God that gracefully removed nearly all of my connections to dance picked me up, turned me around and gave me back tenfold what I thought was lost to me forever. Dance is now method and metaphor for a life of total transformation. The life, the death and the resurrection are more than concepts in my choreography but embodied gateways to a deeper spiritual walk with Christ.
Have I crossed the line where I idolize this pursuit? I have and the insignificance of it is not lost on me when I think of hundreds of far more noble pursuits. I can only say that there is a new line and it’s the one I sense God longs for me to cross. Over the line, there is freedom. With liberty comes the response and mine is to be a vessel for a creative process of engagement with concepts, strategies and ideas. Using the gifts I have to give back to the heart of God and to be an encouragement to those around me. Whether it’s a live event or a song, dance, video or class, the process comes to life and brings a shared experience of art and life.
I leave room for tears and for laughter as this unspeakable joy prevails over my personal trials through illness, pain and disease. Freedom forged in battle is not easily forgotten. What I have learned becomes an opportunity to share with others and I am able to continue learning alongside friends, students and fellow artists.
The scripture that has been particularly meaningful throughout this journey is Psalm 18:19:
He brought me out into a spacious place; He rescued me because He delighted in me.